Too Cool for LinkedIn

Critically-Redeemed Actor | Former Childhood-Sitcom Dad | Secretariat Method-Acting Advocate | Best-Selling Memoirist, “One Trick Pony” | ‘Philbert’ Executive Producer

Hollywoo*, California

Chairman & CEO, Wayne Enterprises | Clean-Energy Futurist | Gotham Renewal Champion | Night-Shift Crisis-Response Operator

Gotham City

Chief New World Discovery Officer (1492-Present) | 4x Fleet P&L Owner (Niña, Pinta, Santa María ⟨& Repair Budget⟩) | Atlantic Supply-Chain Route Pioneer | Crown-Funded Series A Explorer (Backed by Ferdinand & Isabella) | “India” Brand‑Expansion Evangelist (v1.0, Beta) | Indigenous Stakeholder Engagement — Ongoing

Genoa, Italy

Breaker of Chains | Mother of Dragons | Scalable Khalasar-to-Nation-State Leader | Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar & the First Men

Dragonstone, Westeros / Meereen, Essos

Self-Made Man | Ruthless Petroleum Visionary | Founder & Sole Proprietor, Plainview Drainage Solutions™ | California Oil‑Field Orchestrator | “Milkshake” Synergy Expert | Pipeline‑to‑the‑Sea Strategist | Bowling‑Alley Negotiator

Little Boston, California

Healthcare Visionary | Disruptive Diagnostic Evangelist | Founder & Former CEO, Theranos | Black-Turtleneck Futurist

San Francisco Bay Area

Technoking of Tesla | Chief Engineer, SpaceX | Owner & Chief Meme Officer, X | Founder, xAI | Mars-Settlement Optimist

Austin, Texas, United States

Global-Expansion Architect | First-Mover Advantage Navigator | Expedition Founder, World’s 1st Circumnavigation | Strait-of-Magellan Product-Market-Fit Discoverer

Seville, Crown of Castile

Founder & Executive Chair, Amazon | Pioneer of 2-Day Shipping | Amateur Rocket Man | “It’s *still* Day 1” Evangelist

Seattle, Washington, United States

Messiah-Designate | Compassion-at-Scale Evangelist | Founder & Evangelist, Kingdom of Heaven™ | Water-to-Wine Transformation Strategist | Bread-Multiplication Ops Lead

Nazareth, Judea (Greater Galilee Metro)

16-Time World Champion Competitive Eater | Protein-Efficiency Strategist | Founder & Chief Gastronomic Officer, Chestnut Performance Labs™ | “Sustained Velocity Mastication” Thought Leader

San Jose, California, United States

Co-Founder, Standard Oil ⛽ | Vertical-Integration Virtuoso | First Billionaire (pre-inflation) | ROI-Obsessed Philanthropist 🎓💊🌳

Cleveland, Ohio, United States

Serial Theme-Park Visionary | Founder & Chairman, Jurassic Park® | Disrupting the Mesozoic Value Chain | Dino-Tech Evangelist | “Spared No Expense” Operative

Isla Nublar, Costa Rica / San Diego, CA

Chief Consolidator | Accidental Central Banker | Founder & Senior Partner, J. P. Morgan & Co. | Panic-Proofing Evangelist

New York, NY, United States

Interstellar Pilot | Reluctant Hero | Gravity Consultant | Single Dad Across Time

Cooper Station, Orbiting Saturn

Co-CEO (on sabbatical) | Digital Transformation Evangelist | Future-Proof Narrative Architect

New York, NY

Co-Creator, Seinfeld | Executive Producer & Reluctant Star, Curb Your Enthusiasm | Everyday-Irritation Evangelist | ROI-Positive Kvetcher

Los Angeles, California, United States

Internet Pioneer | Co-Founder & GP, Andreessen Horowitz | Netscape Navigator Inventor | Metaverse Board Whisperer | ‘Software-Is-Eating-The-World’ Guy

Menlo Park, California, United States

Stoic Thought Leader | Servant-Leader Emperor | Co-CEO, Roman Empire | #1 Best-Selling Ancient Self-Help Author (“Meditations”)

Rome, Italia (open to remote Danube campaigns)

Founder & CEO, SoftBank Group | 300-Year Vision Steward | Unicorn Whisperer | Chair, $100B Vision Fund | Ex-Record Holder in Biggest Tech IPO

Tokyo, Japan

6× NBA Champion | CEO, Jordan Brand™ | Principal Owner Emeritus, Charlotte Hornets | Cross-Functional Clutch Performer & Cultural IPO

Charlotte, North Carolina, United States

Strategic Transformation Architect | Founder & CEO, French Empire | Continental-Scale Change-Management Evangelist | Artillery-First Product Leader

Paris, Île-de-France, France

Small‑Business Advisor | Hyper‑Realistic Rehearsal Architect | Founder & CEO, Dumb Starbucks™ | Gas‑Rebate Visionary

Vancouver, Canada

Contrarian Capital Alchemist | Co-Founder, PayPal & Palantir | Early Facebook Board Whisperer | We-Wanted-Flying-Cars Evangelist | Author, ​Zero to One​

San Francisco Bay Area

Quant-Turned-Crypto Architect | Founder & ex-CEO, FTX ⚡ | Effective Altruism Evangelist | “Sleeping-on-the-Beanbag” Visionary

Brooklyn, NY

Inventor, Bitcoin (₿) | Open-Source Monetary Architect | Decentralization Maximalist | 21M-Supply Evangelist

Cyberspace (Remote-First)

Criminal-Defense Powerhouse | Crisis PR Swiss-Army-Knife | Founder & Managing Partner, Saul Goodman & Associates | Billboard Guerilla Marketer

Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States

Senior Fry Cook & Chief Happiness Officer | 832× Employee-of-the-Month | Bubble-Innovation Evangelist | IMAGINATION™ Thought Leader

Bikini Bottom, Pacific Ocean

Reality-Distortion Field Operative | Pirate-Flag-Waving Product Architect | Co-Founder & CEO, Apple | Zen Calligraphy Enthusiast

Cupertino, California, United States

Reality-Disruption Architect | Chosen-One-in-Residence | Full-Stack Perception Developer | Bullet-Time Evangelist

Mega City / Zion (Remote-First)

Founder & CEO, The Tim Dillon Show™ | Untrained Economist | 2021 Patreon Top-5 Creator | Reformed Subprime Mortgage Whisperer | Polo Brand Ambassador | Child Actor

Los Angeles, United States